Every player in Jurgen Klopp’s Liverpool squad: Stay or sell?

BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 14: Jurgen Klopp, Manager of Liverpool looks on before the Barclays Premier League match between Aston Villa and Liverpool at Villa Park on February 14, 2016 in Birmingham, England. (Photo by Stu Forster/Getty Images)
BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 14: Jurgen Klopp, Manager of Liverpool looks on before the Barclays Premier League match between Aston Villa and Liverpool at Villa Park on February 14, 2016 in Birmingham, England. (Photo by Stu Forster/Getty Images) /
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LEICESTER, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 02: Goalkeeper Simon Mignolet of Liverpool comes out of his area to clear the ball during the Barclays Premier League match between Leicester City and Liverpool at the King Power Stadium on February 2, 2016 in Leicester, England. (Photo by Matthew Ashton - AMA/Getty Images)
LEICESTER, ENGLAND – FEBRUARY 02: Goalkeeper Simon Mignolet of Liverpool comes out of his area to clear the ball during the Barclays Premier League match between Leicester City and Liverpool at the King Power Stadium on February 2, 2016 in Leicester, England. (Photo by Matthew Ashton – AMA/Getty Images) /

GK Simon MignoletSELL

Man, what a starting point this is. The answer will come in two parts.

Simple: gogogogogogogogogogogo

Slightly more complex: In an inordinate amount of matches, the opponent’s first shot on target resulted in a goal. As of February 6, that number was 21 of the 26 games.

That stat is mind boggling. Just his presence between the pipes against a semi-competent attacking side, or a non-competent one as Sunderland proved with two goals on two shots on target,  incites consternation.

When it comes to corner kicks? Neurosis. It’s as if Mignolet doesn’t understand that corners are a legal, normal caveat of the match. It’s as if he thinks it’s a cheat code. His face just SCREAMS ‘wait what are you doing this can’t be legal help what’s going on,” the same way the Flint Tropics’ opposition and officials couldn’t compute the invention of the alley-oop in Will Ferrell’s “Semi-Pro”.

Mignolet’s inadequacy cannot continue to permeate Liverpool Football Club club, and it wouldn’t be rational to waste his wages to be a backup. So, the final verdict is an EASY decision to move on.

What club will abandon all premonitions and judgement to splurge on Mignolet, though? *Stares towards China* How much money would Liverpool be able to recoup?

As much as I’ve bashed him, *begins gnashing teeth in rage* he can be a decent ‘keeper. He’s overmatched at Liverpool, but most people in the world would be overmatched at Liverpool. If he were on a mid-table Premier League club then he might rediscover some form.

That just won’t happen at Liverpool.

Next: Adam Bogdan