A supercomputer in an unknown location compiles all of the teams in English football, takes into account European schedules, ground location, and home/away variety, and always comes up with Liverpool v Crystal Palace.
They’re not so much our bogey team as the team we seem to play more than any other. Coupled with the fact that they're a strong team, give them enough bites at the cherry and they’ll tend to find a few wins from somewhere.
Annoyingly for us, Palace are in a great spot in their history right now. They have a top-level European manager who has been able to impact his style of play on a young and hungry side.
Whilst they have lost a couple of players recently, they have maintained their core and, more importantly, their leaders, so they will always pose a threat against any team in the Premier League.
Plenty of Recent History
You don’t even have to scroll too far in our recent fixtures to see it littered with Palace, but if you want to look further back than the Community Shield tie, they’ve been on the opposite side to us during some of our most poignant games of recent times.
May 5th, 2014. Liverpool are on course for their first title in decades under Brendan Rodgers and are 3-0 with 14 minutes to go. The fixture known as ‘Crystanbul’ will forever be etched in the back of Liverpool fans' minds.
We essentially threw the title away that day, conceding 3 goals late on, and leaving Selhurst Park with a point. Forever the thorn in our side.
Fast forward to August 10th, 2025. The big kick off of the Premier League season, the curtain raiser of the Community Shield.
Palace had beaten City in the FA Cup final to face our title-winning team at Wembley. We go 1-0 up, they get one back. We go 2-1 up, they get one back. We go to pens, miss our first 2 penalties, and they take the trophy. Forever the thorn in our side.
We pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off, ready for the new season. However, it becomes painfully obvious that we’re lacking at the back. We’re shipping goals every week and are crying out for a little bit more defensive stability.
We set our sights on Crystal Palace captain, Marc Guehi. A starting centre half for England, he looks like he ticks all of the boxes.
Eventually, we have a bid accepted, and Guehi is keen on the move. He scores a worldie in his ‘last game’ and bows out of Palace a loyal servant and a hero.
Everything is in line for the move, and with minutes left in the window, Palace block the move as they’re unable to find a replacement in time. Forever the thorn in our side.
Now we’re back at the present day. Just hours before we play Crystal Palace for the first time in the league this season.
It’s a 3 o'clock kick-off at Selhurst Park. We have a fit(ish) Alexander Isak and a suspended Hugo Ekitike.
My head tells me we have enough to get past them, my heart has been strung too many times recently to fully believe we get all 3 points.
Fingers crossed, at around 5 pm GMT on Saturday, I won’t be sitting here typing, ‘Crystal Palace, forever the thorn in our side.’
But even if that is the case, I advise you all not to worry too much. We can focus our attention on the Carabao Cup 4th round instead, when we play London-based team, Crystal Palace.